One of the most distressing reports that you can receive from your child’s educators is that your child has been bitten, and it can be even more distressing to be told that your child has bitten another child or an adult. No family wants to be informed that their child has been hurt or has hurt someone else. Biting can also be challenging for even the most experienced educators and teachers, as biting incidents often cause strong emotional reactions in families.
There are many possible reasons for biting in the toddler age group. These include:
- Children under the age of three years generally have a limited understanding of the effects of their behaviour on others. Children don’t appreciate how much biting hurts, even following the usually strong reaction from the child who has been bitten, as well as from adults in the environment. Children at this age are in the process of learning to read the feelings and behaviours of others. Learning this is a long process that goes on throughout childhood and beyond. So sometimes toddlers bite not knowing the effect it has. For example, kisses can become bites with no intention of hurting.
- Toddlers are only beginning to develop is self-control, and at times they can be impulsive. Sometimes they cannot stop themselves from doing something, even though they may have an understanding that it isn’t approved of. This means that they may bite another child simply because that child is close by, or just to get an interesting reaction.
- Older babies and toddlers are often quite orally oriented, although they do so less than young babies, toddlers still frequently use their mouths to explore and investigate the world around them, and at times, this can result in biting.
- Biting is generally considered to be a normal toddler behaviour. However, if the behaviour is severe, excessive or ongoing, or occurs in older children, it is recommended that families seek further support or advice.
Toddlers may bite to express frustration when they:
- are tired or unwell
- cannot do something or have something they want
- are being required to share or take turns
- have to wait for too long, for example during transitions or waiting for meals
- cannot communicate what they want, need or feel
- are in too small a space and/or with too many other children
- are being pressured to conform
- have to deal with interference from other children
Unfortunately, there are no magic solutions to eliminate toddlers biting whilst in care at Inspired. Our educating team use a range of effective strategies to manage biting incidents and to support children and families during this challenging phase of development.
As educators one of our most important tasks is to help children to learn which behaviours are acceptable and which are not. One of the most valuable strategies we use to help children to learn not to bite is to acknowledge and show approval of children’s behaviour when they communicate and interact with other children in desirable ways. In other words, helping children learn appropriate ways to behave reduces the chances of inappropriate behaviour occurring.
Our educating team engages in critical reflection to determine whether this is contributing to biting behaviour. Things such as crowding, waiting time, too much going on, too little going on, too few choices, too few toys, and too little attention may be factors in biting. Depending on the likely cause of the biting, a change may be made to the environment, the way the day is organised, the experiences offered, or an effort made to pay special attention to a child who bites at a particular time of the day or in certain situations.
While biting is extremely stressful for everyone involved it is an almost inevitable part of life for children in group situations. As a parent the best you can do is consistently work at preventing biting and then work to manage the situation when it does occur.
We thank you for your ongoing suggestions, ideas and for working in partnership with our educators at Inspired.
